Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
When are your genitals available?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
