I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
