he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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