forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
