Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
