she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
