I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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