You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
