omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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