giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
