we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
