Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
What a dumb baby whore.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
