Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Randomize