his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
