we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
