Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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