Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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