"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
