Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
