i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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