girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize