Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize