What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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