The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
