I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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