she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize