He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
