that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
