Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
worst night to have a conscience
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
