Im at strip club and am horny
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
