You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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