Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
