I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
