don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
