Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
