If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
