oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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