you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
