if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
