quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
