Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
