tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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