i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
