it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
