I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
