Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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