No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
