we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
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I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
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Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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