What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
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Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I am mentally ready for anal.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize