i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize