oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
