I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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