Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Did you pee in the oven last night??
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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