It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
