Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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