it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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