I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
one two three fourrrrnication!
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
