the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
