just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize