You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
